Tony Robbins is doing it again…
The WWE-sized life coach is at it again. This time he’s taking over CNBC at 1AM.
Waa Waa Waa, my life sucks and I can’t possibly get it back together.
I’m broke and in debt and I need money.
I wish I wasn’t a loser.
My life sucks.
Apparently Tony Robbins can fix all of your problems, and he’ll give you a free iPod Shuffle for letting him. Tony is going to change your life…and all you have to do is send him hundreds of dollars. No, really, hundreds of dollars.
Here’s what you get: Tons of DVDs and CDs, one phone call from an operator reading from a script telling you that you have chosen to improve your life, a monthly magazine (only 19.95 an issue).
But it’s not all take take take, they are giving you a voucher for $100 off any of their Live events…wonder how much those costs…
But here’s the thing, YOU DON’T NEED TONY ROBBINS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER!
Would you like to lose weight?
Turn off the damn television and put down the Little Debbie, it’s 1 in the morning and you’re watching infomercials. Go to bed and get some rest so you can wake up and jog in the morning.
Would you like to get out of debt?
Don’t send all of your money to Tony Robbins! Instead, get a night job delivering pizzas and save so you can pay off your credit cards. Set a budget and stick to it. Turn on Dave Ramsey and take notes.
Want to quit smoking or drinking?
Put down the cigarette and don’t give me that business about “Oh it’s so hard, I need it!”
No. You do not. I’m in lacrosse season right now, and haven’t had a drink in two weeks. (those who know me can attest to how big this is)
It’s about commitment and actually wanting to do it…you haven’t quit because you don’t want to.
Would you like to know why you are unhappy? Because you don’t have any direction. Every day – no – every minute you are sitting around feeling sorry for yourself you could be doing something constructive. Get a hobby, go visit a VA Hospital, get a pet.
I’m not saying that everyone can help themselves, I understand that there are some issues that require professional help, but the “Personal Coaching” that Tony offers is little more than a under-qualified tool working part time reading from a script wearing a telephone headset.
If you need personal coaching my number is 615.525.1516 and I don’t charge anything…I’m single too, so if you would feel better getting your coaching over dinner, let me know… (that being said, I swear if you put me on a calling list, I will hunt you down)
I guess what I’m really getting at is the kind of people who feel like they need to resort to a man with a pituitary deformity to fix their lives are the kind of people who deserve to have all of their money taken by said man. You don’t need anything but a little will power to turn your life around…stop being lazy and just hustle.
I rate this infomercial at 12AM…don’t waste your time…turn the TV off and get some rest.